Oh, Penny Saver. I love that my boss laughed and laughed when he found out I was not joking about your name, which I personally have always found refreshing in its "don't let your mouth write a check your butt can't cash" level of modesty. I love the fact that your pages resemble the archives of Someecards sans any traces of snark, due to your graphic art department having zero dollars for such frivolities as "photos." I love the fact that your employment section hasn't changed in over a decade, leaving my options of washing dishes at the Livonia Inn, operating farm machinery, and becoming a registered nurse intact. I am intrigued that Patches makes me use air quotes when he asserts that he has a "mind of his own" and needs to "have his own space."Penny Saver, I sort of regret never having the courage to enter one of your poetry contests, but I am looking forward to my 65th "still crazy after all these years!" birthday announcement , since I'm pretty confident my loved ones will spring for a half-pager.
But let's get down to brass tacks, shall we Penny Saver? I would not be who I am today without your "I Gotta Vent" and "On The Brighter Side" sections, which is ultimately why I am poaching them for my own blog, effective immediately.
Where else can my original, well-crafted complaints about the atrocities of mean people sucking, taxes being too darn taxing, and damn kids getting off my lawn flourish? Aside from your own celebrated pages, that is. Conversely, you betcha I can fish that lint-covered smile out of my pocket every now and then and take a walk on "the brighter side" if someone or something has clearly been awesome and needs lauding right quick. The Batavia Girl Scouts! The Cart Wrangler at Wegmans! THERE IS SO MUCH BEAUTY IN THE WORLD!
To lead with a positive example, today I would like to christen my "Brighter Side" column by thanking this delicious Atomic Fireball I am currently sucking on.
Thank you for making my last half hour of work today bearable, Atomic Fireball. You might even say you really spiced things up! I hope you are reading this!
Thank you for making my last half hour of work today bearable, Atomic Fireball. You might even say you really spiced things up! I hope you are reading this!
Warmly,
Lizz
Brooklyn, NY
3 comments:
Hahahaha! I needed this after a sucko day of Glengary Glen Ross madness. It was truly terrible. Will fill you in next time we chat!
oh no.....I was afraid of that :O( well at least you know enough to be like, "no thanks!"
Hehehe, awesome! although, I think your mostly just giving a name to something that you already do on this blog, non?
Also, notice my new name? That's because I bought a new web domain and got a blogger account to match. I'm trying to decide exactly what to do with it (blog? vlog? documentation of some sort of running project?), but I figure that I need a bit of a nom de plume, what with the whole "becoming a public school teacher" thing (wouldn't want my future kiddies to be reading my articles about plungers, now would I?). Anyhoodles, I'm not feeling this one. Any suggestions? My website is suckitmartha.com.
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